I’d better focus on how to make these words a behavior or way of life in practical daily life.
I was born and raised in a non-Christian family, the fourth of five children. However, my parents sent their children to Christian primary schools because they wanted us to get a good basic education (at that time, which means Christian school).
While in Christian elementary school, I attended Christian religious lessons/class and of course also Christian worship and celebrations such as Sunday school, Easter celebrations, Christmas and so on. All my teachers and most of my schoolmates are Christians. I really enjoyed Christianity in my elementary school days.
When I graduated from elementary school, I asked my father for permission to still adhere to Christianity while continuing to attend a public junior high school later. At that time, I felt it would be difficult if I had to learn Arabic or read the Koran and pray that way. Of course, I didn’t tell my parents those reasons openly. Unexpectedly, my parents allowed and even supported me by encouraging me to attend Sunday school at the church near our house and bought a Bible for me. It seemed they wanted me to be a good girl, responsible for my choices and requests. Long story short, it was through Sunday school at the church that a few years later I repented, believed, and accepted Christ as my personal Lord and Savior.
Shortly after my conversion, while continuing to a public high school, I joined a Bible study group organized by the student ministry at the school. I was helped to grow in Christ by having a personal relationship with God through prayer, quiet time, and Bible study and so on. It is becoming clearer and clearer who Christ is according to the Bible and in my life. Truly my heart and mind were filled with such great joy and peace.
At the same time, there was a great feeling of sadness knowing that my family, especially my parents, who I thought were very good, loved me very much, even allowed me to become a Christian and were willing to attend the church building when I was baptized, actually being under God’s punishment because they had not believe in Christ. At that time almost every night I cried and as if arguing, bargaining with God about it. Until one day I got tired and gave up, surrendered, entrusting everything to God. That He and His words are “yes and amen”, unfathomable far beyond all my feelings and thoughts. My part is just to believe.
Aside from that sadness, the struggle that I experienced was the realization that when I was at home the words of God that I learned I couldn’t seem to be shared directly in words. My words may not make sense to them because I am a teenager, still young at home, so it is not appropriate for me to teach them or advise them. This made me feel guilty at first. At that time God helped me with understanding that my daily life is an open word that my family can read anytime at home. These truths really encouraged me to apply what I learned in the Bible to my daily life. Instead of me being busy looking for words to testify to them, I’d better focus on how to make these words a behavior or way of life in practical daily life, that they can see and read.
Life experiences have taught me a lot. That love contains in it a sacrifice in various degrees. There is no love without sacrifice. God in Jesus Christ has set a real example in unconditional sacrificial love.
written in 2008
I come from a Javanese family, born, and raised until I finished high school in two cities in Central Java. My father is an Army officer from the ’45 class who has been joining in war since his youth. A man who was firm, and stern, simple, with a profound sense of pride. As a Javanese and member of Army, his sense of tolerance can be felt behind his assertiveness. Meanwhile, my mother used to be a teacher who chose not to teach anymore after getting married and giving birth to children. She is a patient person, endures suffering, has a strong will to learn, as well as someone who always takes care of those around her who are in conflict (as a counterweight).
I was born as the fourth of five children. Even though we are a non-Christian family, 4 children including myself from 5 of us are enrolled in a private Christian elementary school. My parents’ reason at that time was to look for a school with good quality education, and it was found in that school. Of course at that school we received Christian religious lessons and sometimes attended Sunday school and several celebrations to commemorate major holidays in Christianity. My elementary school years went well and I enjoyed it. My academic and non-academic achievements were also quite good during elementary school, although my parents, especially my mother, almost never forced us to study at home.
An Unfair World
One of my worries when I was in elementary school was finding out that the world is very unfair, very unpeaceful. Often I secretly observe everything around me, both inside and outside the family, even within myself. A lot of things that are not true, which is not good I found there. It became a search for answers for me personally.
After elementary school, usually my brothers and sisters began to learn to pray and learn to read our religious/M books. This is because they or we will continue to a state junior high school which will automatically receive our religious lessons. To me it’s a ‘troublesome’ thing, impractical, and the like. Therefore, after graduating from elementary school, I ventured to convey to my father that I wanted to continue/follow Christianity only. So I asked him to fill in the student data in the religion column filled with “Christian”. My parents didn’t refuse, agreeing on one condition that if I really wanted to convert to Christianity, I had to go to one of the churches and obey the teachings of Christianity. I have to be responsible with my choices.
Soon I joined a church not too far from my house. I regularly attend services for children my age every week, sometimes taking part in other activities such as vocal groups, and the like. My parents were quite supportive, they bought me a Bible and some of my needs related to Christianity were fulfilled. They also freed me to participate in activities around the church.
Feeling Enough and Satisfied
Almost the same as in elementary school, I also went through junior high school quite smoothly and successfully. I really enjoyed this junior high school with many positive associations and activities in various fields. It feels like what I want with a little hard work can be achieved. But in all of that I realized I was growing into a fairly independent and self-satisfied person. Behind my good and polite demeanor is a very individualistic person. I still like to observe everything around me but my heart is hard to be moved/merciful by what I observe. My thought at that time was “we take care of our own business, don’t get too involved in other people’s lives, even if interacting is limited to politeness, living as a social creature”. The thing that sometimes frustrated me at that time was the thought of the fact that no matter how great a human achievement is, he/she will still end up in death. Then what is all this toil and success for, what is this life for? Satisfaction, self-respect, acceptance? It feels too trivial/low if life is just for that.
In the middle of 3rd grade of junior high school, a very significant event occurred in my life. At that time, after going through meditations on personal life and God’s word for several months, a challenge/question from a counselor in the church led me to repent and accept Jesus Christ personally. Being Christian is no longer just a formality in a good life but making Him my personal Savior and Lord of my life. I am really grateful for this experience. Since then I have felt God helping me to see myself and the world in a new light. That God really loves me, that I am truly precious in His sight, there is nothing “accidental” in my life in Him. This kind of understanding and belief has slowly influenced the way I view the people around me and all the events in my life. I also realized my sense of individuality as a more “polite” form of selfishness, which I had to ask forgiveness for and learn to change from time to time. I began to learn to genuinely care for others.
Supportive Parents
A few months after converting, before ending junior high school, I made the decision to be baptized in that church. My parents were still supportive and even attended my baptism. I am really grateful for my parents. The brothers at home also seemed less troubled by my decision. It seems that in my family as long as everything is under control and fine whatever steps the children take, there is rarely opposition. Father once said to us children, “If you make a decision in this life, you will be the one to live it and bear the consequences/risks. If it is good and noble, you will also be happy. But if it is not good and heavy, you yourself will also be ashamed and suffer. We parents can’t do much/meddle in all that.” His words are truly proven in almost every critical period of us children in making important decisions such as continuing further studies after high school, working, dating/marriage, and so on. For me these words mean I have to grow to be a person who is responsible and has integrity.
After graduating from junior high school, I entered a public high school. At this high school, I was invited to join a student ministry in which there was a kind of Bible study group or small group/discipleship. Once again I am grateful that it was through this small group that my basic life was built. I learned to build a personal relationship with God, learned to study the Bible and apply it in my daily life, and so on. Through all that process I learned to understand God’s purpose and plan specifically in my life and how God wants to express it. I learned a lot to apply the truth of God’s word in the context of my non-Christian family. Loving them in very simple and real forms of action without the polish of Christian culture/tradition. It was during these times that I was increasingly exposed to the reality of life, namely that in the ‘calm’ of my family life, there were actually many very complex problems. Likewise, when I learn to have friends, I also see that reality in their families.
The Open Way
My high school years went smoothly and well. It was a beautiful time for me because in it I was built a lot in the word of God. During that time, I also learned to help some of my juniors in a small group Bible study. After graduating from high school, I was accepted at one of the best institute/school of technology/engineering in the country without a test. At that time I did choose a certain field in the institute with a belief in God’s plan for my future. Really grateful that God opened the way to that place for me to continue my study.
It turned out that it was not only the opportunity to gain the knowledge that I wanted that I got at the institute. I also got a lot of mental and spiritual lessons and exercises in that place. In addition to studying and participating in activities on campus, I also joined a Christian ministry on campus and were helped a lot through it. Through all that process I increasingly saw a common thread in my life about God’s plan for me. It was as if I saw from the start how God used my non-Christian parents/family to get acquainted with Christianity through elementary school. Then in middle school, he helped me to get to know Christ more personally and repent. Not only that, after all that, I felt like I was provided with a community to grow through studying God’s word and practice/life experiences from high school until I went to college. It was very special for me who is from non-Christian background.
Until one day in college I made the decision to continue serving God even though I didn’t know what form it would take. Of course, the main ministry that I believe in is within my own family, especially caring for and building a deeper relationship with my parent. Be available to parent to listen and accompany them in their old age. Testify through my real life everyday.
A Male since High School
I graduated from college and be a teacher. Not long ago I married a man I’d known since high school, but we only had a special relationship about a year before I graduated. He’s a senior in college. In our campus ministry, we interact a lot in the context of general socialization. We agreed and decided to get married after going through a long journey of knowing each other and seeing God’s plan in it. We believe that God has a special plan for the family we are going to build. A vision and purpose at the beginning of the marriage that helped us in living a dynamic married/family life.
A few months after we got married we made an important decision in our lives, namely serving God full time by becoming a worker/staff in the ministry organisation, resigning from our job as a teacher (husband was also a teacher at the time). We serve fellow students at our alma mater campus. About 1.5 years after marriage I gave birth to a son, … the only child then.
After getting married, I/we felt that God was increasingly revealing things that we had not seen or felt as a single about the dynamics and problems that exist in a family. With myself being a spouse/wife and parent/mother of a child, it really helps me to empathize with the situation and condition of my extended family. My relationship with my parent, especially my mother, is getting deeper and meaningful, maybe because she sees that now I am also a wife and mother. We often confide in each other about various things from complicated family problems to trivial things like recipes or kitchen ingredients. Mother was so close with and trusted me that many of her and her family’s secrets were revealed to me seeking input and support. Differences in beliefs did not make her keep distance from me. I also learned to sincerely love her without any hidden ‘agenda’ for evangelization and such. I am of the view that if I learn to live righteously according to the Bible, my life will automatically become a gospel for others, a book that is open to everyone I interact with. The rest that has the power to influence/change people’s hearts is the work of God through the Holy Spirit in people. I really enjoy God’s grace in my relationship with my mother.
Starting Something New
The relationship also opened up a lot for me about the things/lessons that were right and good or not true that I received while I was at home, which could have influenced my pattern of having a family, my relationship with my husband and raising children. I (of course with my husband) learned to build and start something new based on an understanding of God’s word and experiences/lessons learned from our respective families. I realized that there were shortcomings and mistakes that my parent had made while raising us including myself, not on purpose but mostly because they didn’t know and didn’t realize it. They only became parent once and at that time information and people who could help were very limited. They themselves may be the result of upbringing and education that were not entirely correct and good/right in the past. My part in this is to accept them as they are and forgive sincerely. Viewed everything that happened in my past in the family in the understanding and authority of God, and that He has the power to change and restore.
My belief is getting stronger that one of God’s purposes and plans for calling me from a non-Christian family background is to serve my family, especially my parent. This belief really helped me to pursue peace/reconciliation or take the initiative to apologize first when misunderstandings and pressures arise in my relationship with my parents due to several reasons. Not letting the devil with his tricks destroy our relationship.
Not only that, this belief also really strengthened me when I had to accompany my mother in the moments before she died. Between the grief and sadness at the loss of my mother, I felt a rush of relief at having done my part as a child who loved her until the end of her life, relief from a deep understanding that she had made the right decision towards the end of her life. That is a very personal experience between mother and Christ that no one knows including myself, all because of the work of the Holy Spirit.
This belief also strengthened me/us while taking care of our father. After our mother died, our father immediately lost his zest for life, something that further weakened his physical condition. Diabetes, which he had suffered for a dozen years while still being able to live a normal life, became a problem. Previously, in the care of my mother, my father had suffered from diabetes for a dozen years and had never been hospitalized. But as soon as my mother died, my father had to be hospitalized, twice. About 6 months after my mother died, my father also died. Again I grieved.
Sacrificial Love
The life experiences above have taught me a lot. That love contains in it a sacrifice in various degrees. There is no love without sacrifice. God in Jesus Christ has set a real example in unconditional sacrificial love.
